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| picture from http://www.audiencebloom.com/ |
If you can think of the most influential person you know,
who would it be? Would it be your Father or your Mother? Could it be your high
school teacher or your college professor? What about a civil rights leader, a
politician or a war hero? How about an artist like a writer, performer or
painter? And what if it was a speech, a song or a poem? Can a community
influence you? The power to influence and control the decisions and behavior of
someone is something we all have the ability to achieve, good or bad. Everyday
our actions, our words or our life is influencing someone that we have yet to
meet. We also have the ability to influence a family member or influence a
friend. We naturally possess this incredible gift. We all have the power to
impact someone’s life. The problem I see is that we don’t necessarily know how
to encourage ourselves.
It’s hard for me to put into words the amount of influence
someone can have on you. I don’t know what influenced me per say, I did not
grow up to be a product of it anyways. I was not “really” encouraged by anyone
to do the right thing, but what I do know is that I am limited because of it. What
you might want to understand is that all of us are here in this world to
influence others. Is a chain reaction, that its impact can only be determined
by the amount of connection you have with someone. I influence him, you
influence her, and she influences’ them and so on. Lately I have been doing some
serious thinking about what I want to do with my life. I am beginning to realize
that maybe I am convincing myself of not being worthy of wanting something I
was not encouraged to have. But, I desperately want to find myself in a place
where I am happy and where life has meaning. I want to find my purpose because
the circumstances in which I grew up, led me to believe I won’t amount to anything.
For example, in my experience, my influence led to acceptance, which led to
commitment, which then led to adapting to the environment around me. When the
environment is critical more often than none, the chances of escaping from that
influence can be critical too, in other words, being destined to fail. But
that’s only if you allow it. What you are conditioned to believe during the
process that the environment stimulates, such as encouraging negative behaviors
and thoughts to take shape, un-conditioning your mind to think otherwise is
creating change and that changes is a product of learning. Embellish in the
philosophical question of what is right and what is wrong.
What really had me thinking about influence and its impact on people, or things, was when I spoke to
my little brothers. My brothers are 19 and 16 years old, I know, not so “little”.
I have a very peculiar relationship with them. We tried to understand one
another, but I can tell that they respect me a lot. They always try to pretend
that nothing is bothering them but the reality is a lot is bothering them. The environment
in which we are being raised in is a challenging one. That includes a combination
of a single mother, poverty, violence, lack of motivation, negligence and
negativity. But I know they are having problems understanding who they are, and
understanding what influenced me to go to college and finish school on time to
pursue my career. Because I grew up in the same situation, I know how hard this
is for them and I know how difficult it can be to make the right decisions,
especially when you are limited to the possibilities of success, mainly because
the negative inclinations society has on minorities. I told them that what kept
me motivated all that time was WILL.
The will I had to get up every morning, go to school and do my homework, the
will to not allow society to determine my destiny. The will I had to not allow
my illness to stop me from getting better. I remember the only advice my mother
gave me, “my daughter, please look at my life, don’t end up like me. I don’t
care what you study in college, just don’t end up like me.” Of course, she said
it in Spanish but it was a powerful advice. My mom was not always the smartest
or the strongest but she sure was the wisest. That advice was not just words
they were an assignment, a challenge to see how much attention I was putting on
the world and the poor influence that surrounded me daily. For the first time I
opened my eyes and saw the world for what it truly was, but it wasn't until my
illness that I realized the battle is never won. I had then to condition my
mind to believe that there is a brighter future for me. I have to find a catalyst
in my life that will stimulate positive change and productivity, but I first
need to work on my confidence.
Not too long ago, I met with a couple of influential people,
and these were hard knocks in the industry, and one of them in particular, The
Head Honcho, was a very intellectual person, very well read and extremely
inspiring. He has the power and the credentials to affect a lot of people. I
met with him briefly. Although, I thought I would have more time to speak with
him, engage in a productive conversation in which otherwise can be considered
deep, but unfortunately that was not the case. He asked me where I was from,
where I grew up, my current employment status and what was some of my
responsibilities with the last team that worked here at X company? But
something strange occurred, I felt like he seemed uninterested in what I had to
say. At the moment I paid no mind and I met with his team soon after our brief,
and rather futile, introduction. I was really looking forward to an expressive
conversation with him, but instead he said, let me leave you with someone you
will be working with, because you will not be working with me. I was a little
concern with that, but then I realized, hey… one less person to impress.
You see, that’s the problem, why should I feel better of
having someone less to impress. Am I thinking that maybe, I am not someone that
has the ability to neither influence nor impress someone of that caliber, in
the hopes that they will be inclined to offer me a job, an opportunity to
continue my path of empowering others to be great as well? I don’t know if
maybe all this time I have been lacking in reciting influential words or ideas
during interviews. I spent most of my days thinking about what I could have
done better. What I could have said or mentioned about my past to make a
connection. I never thought to indicate the influences I've had on people and
the impact it has installed in my daily work life and activities. I don’t know,
perhaps I am not caught out to succeed as I think I am, but why not?
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| picture from http://theskinnyonline.blogspot.com/ |
If I start to think back past chances, I see so many opportunities
gone by that were in front of me, but I chose to be inconspicuous in all of
them. I wanted to tell them, that what matters to me the most is the influence I have on my two little
brothers and my two little sisters. Who just like me are confused about what
they deserve and what they don’t deserve in this world, and who just like me
are experiencing the harsh reality of the world and its different shades of
grey at such a very young age. Who like me also want to believe, that there is
opportunity for even the most unfortunate souls. I don’t believe that in life
we should look at other people to tell us how to be, but it is nice to take the
universal things that makes us all different, look at the person who has
courage and find YOUR own courage, influence is important when it builds strong
and healthy individuals in all of us. Don’t be afraid to accept change for
change is a product of learning and we all experience change differently. Remember
that there is no better influence then yourself.
