THE FIRST BLACK EVER.... WHY?!

Every time I see an article about someone being the first woman, the first Latino, the first Black, or the first person of color, to ever achieve a certain type of success just makes me concern and weary. Like if that statement has some sort of integrity or honor. That’s why there are minorities in corporate America, in the Arts and even in Music, who are more concern about appealing to a "particular group" that has yet to see us as equals, than to pay it forward. Obtaining the status of being the only one of color in that position is never easy. Some, most, will take that anger and the embarrassment that comes with it, and harbor it, the way Lestat harbors old scores. There is always pressure knowing you will have to work harder than your white colleagues to keep your job and to get ahead of your own people, because like Jay Z says, “I told ‘em less is more niggas, plenty of us”. Well, you can interpret that how ever you want, but don’t tell me is bull shit because is not, because there is only 4 percent of black people that can make it, everyone else needs to wait in line or they can screw their brother’s and sister’s in front to get ahead. Don't misunderstand me, I think is splendid to break barriers, but I believe it is not about who gets there first but how we can get there together. I wish media will stop saying to someone of color, how it feels to be the first black person to accomplish some sort of obstacle parallel to those in the "majority". Let's instead ask a white person “how does it feel to be successful just because you are white?” “How does it feel to be in the majority, “the standard” based on the color of your skin?” We will never hear anyone write or ask that question to a white person/celebrity/politician, and we will never admit the answer. But let’s continue to celebrate the first black dancer, the first black athlete, the first black nominee, and let’s continue to ignore the fact that it is a problem not an honor. True Story.

I wouldn't want this post to be taken scornfully, I am just weary and concern, that still, in 2015 we are continuing to crown the first black ever to do anything. Barriers have been broken why are we still in the minority? Have we found a sense of reality? Can we focus on the issues ahead? I don't want to seem like this is a matter of race because, is not. Racism, hate, is an issue but only to us psychologically, for he "who controls the media, controls the mind". I bring this topic up because we are not thinking about the bigger problem. Power, Money and Control. Why we continue to fight each other to get on top? I can say this, the idea that black people are stronger together, is true. The idea that woman are stronger together is true. The idea that humans are stronger together is true. We can not continue to be swindle into believing that we are not capable of living in a better world because of who we are, or what we are, or what gender we decide to mate with. We can work together to live in a better world, to give ourselves a break from the pain, that we all as humans suffer. Life is full barriers but we most work together to overcome obstacles. I am sure that getting to the top is hard, but not harder than when the first black ever did it. True Story. 

INFLUENCE

picture from http://www.audiencebloom.com/

If you can think of the most influential person you know, who would it be? Would it be your Father or your Mother? Could it be your high school teacher or your college professor? What about a civil rights leader, a politician or a war hero? How about an artist like a writer, performer or painter? And what if it was a speech, a song or a poem? Can a community influence you? The power to influence and control the decisions and behavior of someone is something we all have the ability to achieve, good or bad. Everyday our actions, our words or our life is influencing someone that we have yet to meet. We also have the ability to influence a family member or influence a friend. We naturally possess this incredible gift. We all have the power to impact someone’s life. The problem I see is that we don’t necessarily know how to encourage ourselves. 

It’s hard for me to put into words the amount of influence someone can have on you. I don’t know what influenced me per say, I did not grow up to be a product of it anyways. I was not “really” encouraged by anyone to do the right thing, but what I do know is that I am limited because of it. What you might want to understand is that all of us are here in this world to influence others. Is a chain reaction, that its impact can only be determined by the amount of connection you have with someone. I influence him, you influence her, and she influences’ them and so on. Lately I have been doing some serious thinking about what I want to do with my life. I am beginning to realize that maybe I am convincing myself of not being worthy of wanting something I was not encouraged to have. But, I desperately want to find myself in a place where I am happy and where life has meaning. I want to find my purpose because the circumstances in which I grew up, led me to believe I won’t amount to anything. For example, in my experience, my influence led to acceptance, which led to commitment, which then led to adapting to the environment around me. When the environment is critical more often than none, the chances of escaping from that influence can be critical too, in other words, being destined to fail. But that’s only if you allow it. What you are conditioned to believe during the process that the environment stimulates, such as encouraging negative behaviors and thoughts to take shape, un-conditioning your mind to think otherwise is creating change and that changes is a product of learning. Embellish in the philosophical question of what is right and what is wrong.

What really had me thinking about influence and its impact on people, or things, was when I spoke to my little brothers. My brothers are 19 and 16 years old, I know, not so “little”. I have a very peculiar relationship with them. We tried to understand one another, but I can tell that they respect me a lot. They always try to pretend that nothing is bothering them but the reality is a lot is bothering them. The environment in which we are being raised in is a challenging one. That includes a combination of a single mother, poverty, violence, lack of motivation, negligence and negativity. But I know they are having problems understanding who they are, and understanding what influenced me to go to college and finish school on time to pursue my career. Because I grew up in the same situation, I know how hard this is for them and I know how difficult it can be to make the right decisions, especially when you are limited to the possibilities of success, mainly because the negative inclinations society has on minorities. I told them that what kept me motivated all that time was WILL. The will I had to get up every morning, go to school and do my homework, the will to not allow society to determine my destiny. The will I had to not allow my illness to stop me from getting better. I remember the only advice my mother gave me, “my daughter, please look at my life, don’t end up like me. I don’t care what you study in college, just don’t end up like me.” Of course, she said it in Spanish but it was a powerful advice. My mom was not always the smartest or the strongest but she sure was the wisest. That advice was not just words they were an assignment, a challenge to see how much attention I was putting on the world and the poor influence that surrounded me daily. For the first time I opened my eyes and saw the world for what it truly was, but it wasn't until my illness that I realized the battle is never won. I had then to condition my mind to believe that there is a brighter future for me. I have to find a catalyst in my life that will stimulate positive change and productivity, but I first need to work on my confidence.

Not too long ago, I met with a couple of influential people, and these were hard knocks in the industry, and one of them in particular, The Head Honcho, was a very intellectual person, very well read and extremely inspiring. He has the power and the credentials to affect a lot of people. I met with him briefly. Although, I thought I would have more time to speak with him, engage in a productive conversation in which otherwise can be considered deep, but unfortunately that was not the case. He asked me where I was from, where I grew up, my current employment status and what was some of my responsibilities with the last team that worked here at X company? But something strange occurred, I felt like he seemed uninterested in what I had to say. At the moment I paid no mind and I met with his team soon after our brief, and rather futile, introduction. I was really looking forward to an expressive conversation with him, but instead he said, let me leave you with someone you will be working with, because you will not be working with me. I was a little concern with that, but then I realized, hey… one less person to impress.

You see, that’s the problem, why should I feel better of having someone less to impress. Am I thinking that maybe, I am not someone that has the ability to neither influence nor impress someone of that caliber, in the hopes that they will be inclined to offer me a job, an opportunity to continue my path of empowering others to be great as well? I don’t know if maybe all this time I have been lacking in reciting influential words or ideas during interviews. I spent most of my days thinking about what I could have done better. What I could have said or mentioned about my past to make a connection. I never thought to indicate the influences I've had on people and the impact it has installed in my daily work life and activities. I don’t know, perhaps I am not caught out to succeed as I think I am, but why not?

picture from http://theskinnyonline.blogspot.com/

If I start to think back past chances, I see so many opportunities gone by that were in front of me, but I chose to be inconspicuous in all of them. I wanted to tell them, that what matters to me the most is the influence I have on my two little brothers and my two little sisters. Who just like me are confused about what they deserve and what they don’t deserve in this world, and who just like me are experiencing the harsh reality of the world and its different shades of grey at such a very young age. Who like me also want to believe, that there is opportunity for even the most unfortunate souls. I don’t believe that in life we should look at other people to tell us how to be, but it is nice to take the universal things that makes us all different, look at the person who has courage and find YOUR own courage, influence is important when it builds strong and healthy individuals in all of us. Don’t be afraid to accept change for change is a product of learning and we all experience change differently. Remember that there is no better influence then yourself. 

MY RECOVERY AFTER A HUGE BREAK UP... MOVE ON LIKE YOUR JOB DID

Have you ever tried to get the attention of someone you really like? You noticed them in one of those online dating websites or out at night, mingling around. Whoever that person is, they caught your interest. There was something about his/her “profile” that attracted you to that person or you heard great things about them that really sounded fascinating. My favorite, and often very common is, “we met through mutual friends”. You gain the confidence to approach them and you get a response. All of a sudden you are optimistic, you see yourself in a long term committed relationship. You prepare to impress them in the first few couple of dates, expressing your best attributes and what you look for in your counterpart. You work hard to look the part and even seeking advice!

At the end of each date, you find yourself with so much in common… or not. What happens when all those emotions starts to bottle up inside? I’m getting butterflies in my stomach! You are so happy because you thought you found the one. Well, one day, that person tells you during a phone call or email: “is not working out”, “I need something else”, or “I’m not ready”, sometimes they don’t even answer your call, basically you just got rejected. In many cases, you get rejected before you even go out on a date. You asked your friends (connections) to hook you up: "Hey! Can you put in a good word for me? I'm trying to take her out on a date but she won’t even LOOK AT ME". So many attempts we conjure to induce the other person to notice us.

I wouldn't say we have tried to go as far as stalking, but we do look online to see if that person is dating (hired) someone else. You go through every advice that was giving to you to see if you did them all right. You ask those close to you and who are in very healthy relationships, how do you know when you found the right one? Why can’t I find the right one? What am I doing wrong? Is it the way I look? Did I come off too strong? But we have so much in common during the first date (interview), what happened? This is something I dread, the feeling of rejection, questioning yourself whether you are good enough or not.

Yes, job hunting for me has turned out similar to the idea of looking for a relationship or maintaining a relationship, but unlike my relationship with my current significant other I’m stable, job wise, I am not.

There are many times when we are so sure of what we want in life and usually those things end up being questioned too. Do you REALLY know what you want in life? Is that person (career) right for you? Sometimes I feel like my standards are too high and maybe I should settle for a person (job) that doesn't want me permanently but has me around “temporarily”. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but it drives me crazy and I want to give up. Finding love is the same as finding the job we aspire to have, both are hard to established or even find. Notice how that is why most people like to focus on one rather than the other, honestly, not everyone can balance both at first.

Multiple times in the past, I find myself constantly thinking about switching career paths. I sometime say to myself that the job I really desire isn't really what I expected. And we give up on the one we love, instead of fighting. It’s very obvious to see the correlation between both, and we can very much see how similar both life experiences are. The bottom line is that they are both equally frustrating. As needy humans that we are, we seek, ultimately, an acceptable quality of life and what those qualities mean to us as individuals. Overall, we part ways and take more action in one area of our lives than others. And then it comes to a halting point, what else do we need to feel complete in the world we live in today?

Some pre historic time ago, we were Hunters/Gatherers and we asked for only what we needed to survive, as the times kept evolving and the more civilized and modern we became, the more we added to the pyramid, ranging from most important to least. We pile on ideas in which helps us in creating our own pyramid of what’s important to us individually, including but not limited to, career, wealth, status, education, materialism, family, love, happiness, ACCEPTANCE and so on. Therefore, we seek stability in our lives just as much as we seek love from others to feel wanted. I know I am not the only one who seems to notice this but this analogy came to me like a feeling. I had lost the one job I was giving my all to and was very happy to be with.

I couldn't believe that I would ever experience another lay-off with a company that I actually cared and looked forward to working with for a very long time. The “breakup” obviously wasn't mutual, and it dawn on me, when someone told me, “Everyone at some point in their lives have been there, you just can’t give up, you’ll find the right one”, now where have I heard that before? Ah! Yes, in break ups.

It’s so irrelevant but it makes some sort of sense. True story, you can sneak in the same advice you give to someone who is going through a break up/can’t find love, to someone going through a layoff/can’t find work! I have use this analogy on other people before and the majority of the time they 100% agree that they are similar, in more ways than none. I am just simply observing. And, as the visual person that I like to believe I am, I dealt with the reality of being bumped by my job, as if I was going through a break up with the guy who broke up with me (between you and me, I actually found the right guy after the one that dumped me, so there is still hope in my career search). I told myself, life goes on and you have to move on, don’t hate, congratulate those that did find “the one”, know that this isn't personal, it’s actually BUSINESS, whatever that means...

 One of the things I feel fails to be noted during finding the right candidate for a job is passion, drive and enthusiasm for work. Those are very important and hardly ever regarded in an interview or screening. No matter how much I tried, my passion is not enough, and I wonder why. When you go on a date with a girl/guy, do you sometimes go for someone who has personality, passion and ambition? What about his/her potential to be a great partner? Or, do you find yourself trying to find more of a physical attraction than anything else. At this age, I have to figure things out on my own regarding my career. I’ll bring up another example and I will end with that.

I want to compare this example with the idea of Identification (Google it), there are many sides to Identification in psychology, but I’ll stick to the more relevant one for this topic. It’s called Partial Identification, and why maybe my Partial Identification with the adults in my family growing up, is probably the reason I am not advancing in my career like I would like to. Will I be confident enough to go after what I really want, jobs that fit my interest and skills?

In a family where mom and dad are successful and raised you together, you feel more confident with the idea of love and success. You grow up knowing that you will meet someone who will share with you a lifetime of happiness the way you have seen with your parents growing up. You will also be more prepared to face hiring managers during interviews. I grew up with a single mother, poor and with no education. My mother only spoke Spanish ever since she came to this country with my brother and I alone. All of the women in my family, at least 60% of them are all single parents. I was raised by my uncles as well, who in respect, also raised their children alone. The adults in my family, during the time I was growing up, had no formal education, and we struggle to make ends meet. I understand why my family was in the situation that they were in, but they did raise us to be fearless and leaders. They raised us to be strong and to learn to face the toughest challenges no matter what. At the same time, they were discouraging, seeing me or my other siblings and cousins struggling through our studies, they knew in their hearts they had nothing to offer or how to help, so my mom will say to me at times to leave school, get a regular job and to not frustrate myself. I know she didn't know any better, but that was her way of being supportive. I went to college to pursue a career in the Arts, to find out I had no mentoring, coaching or luck after I graduated. I have no confidence, nor did I grow up with any examples around me that would have helped me meet the requirements needed to succeed in the real world. In other words, I identified with the instability my family faced. But I know they did not bring me to this country to fail.

picture by: holykaw.alltop.com

Where do I go know? How do I believe again? It did not work out for my mother, should I believe that it won’t work out for me? I don’t want to get too deep with this. Though, I do hope you can see my point. Our career is our relationship, whether we like to admit it or not. What makes us wake up every morning is not just our intimate relationship or family, it is the job of our dreams. Whether we hate it or love it, every day we run to it like if it’s the only thing in this world that matters. We dress up for it, we buy things for it, we laugh with it, we cry with it and we enjoy life because of it. The truth is that once you don’t have a career that you can identify yourself with, soon enough you’ll realize something is missing, and it’s the same feeling you get when you wake up next to no one.

From: Yesterday to: Tomorrow

I was lying on a hospital bed with a very excruciating headache. I just had transnasal neurosurgery the day before and the head pain from the surgery still was very unbearable, like if someone hit you in the head with a bat twenty times repeatedly. The sound coming from my family around my bed was muffled by the throbbing of my headache. I saw everything a little blurry until I can see again. I remember needing to go to the bathroom, so I got up slowly with the help of my mother and the nurse. Suddenly, I puked something blue out of my body but the nurse told me, it was normal, that was just my anesthesia. I was not well, I felt the weight of my body, I hardly could eat yet I continued to feel dizzy and exhausted. 

At the hospital after the surgery, I had two tampons up my nose to
stop the bleeding. 

My body felt weak, like a diabetics but the doctor told me my sugar level was fine for now, it was just a little low and that I should eat, I hate food I told him. He couldn’t say the same for the young girl who had the same surgery lying next to me on the other side of the room, she kept having problems with her sugar from time to time but eventually she will get well, which was a great sign. She was my board room buddy. We both had the same surgery and the same tumor in the same place. She understood me and I understood her. We felt one another’s pain and we felt one another’s energy, all along we were relief but we were scared. We knew the journey to recovery was going to be a difficult one, but how we were going to erase five years of immense struggle and pain, shame and embarrassment was still unsure.  The truth is, we were over 230lbs. I knew I was 250lbs. Those were the beginning of my second chance here on earth, I never thought that something so small can have such a major effect on my body… but it did. The tumor was the size of a pea and it impacted my life in more ways than one.

I took this picture on my way to the hospital for the surgery

My tumor, thank God, was not malignant meaning potentially cancerous. Luckily my tumor was benign, which means good/non-cancerous. However, it can become malignant if not treated appropriately and fast. The surgery was clearly to remove the tumor I had between my pituitary glands in the frontal lobe of my brain, and since the operation took place so closely to the brain, it caused such a traumatic headache and nasal congestion. Tumors, such as the one I had, can cause serious hormone problems. The defect caused me to gain a lot of weight and it also caused me my overall emotional and mental imbalance. A lot of what I do today and how I feel about myself can be trace back to this experience. Actually, it can be trace even further than that like father issues, sexual harassment and pre-mature transition from girl to woman hood. Nonetheless what the tumor caused was a disease called Cushing. In an early post I mentioned how depress I felt. Every once in a while I get these mood swings and I start to drift away to this very dark place of death and despair. All the things that I been through in the past starts to surface and my depressive mood starts to become so viciously active in my mind. I feel it in my body and I feel it in my heart. I am twenty-six years of age, I am young and I had the surgery at the age of 22 going on 23. I was mad, because I knew my twenties were not going to be as peaches and cream like most people tend to think your twenties are. I knew I couldn’t think, act or perceive life the way many young adults in their 20’s do. It was not a matter of maturity it was more of a battle to survive. I have no money, no parents or family that can help me emotionally and financially. My family view life as it is, nothing more, therefore we shouldn’t want anything more than what it has giving you. In theory we suppose to want more for ourselves and believe that there are better and greater things for once self out there. My family didn’t see it that way. It is clear that they already grew accustom to their way of life, they think very old school and they don’t believe in depression, at least not admitting it existence. All in all they were no help in that department. I know they love me and they care for me but there is only so much they can do for me since they are trying to make sense of it all for themselves, how the hell are they going to figure things out for me? 

Me and my best friend a year after the surgery

Me and my rock at graduation day, receiving my
BFA in Film, he is the love of my life.

Fast forward to the present day, I have a boyfriend we been living together for the past two years and it is incredible. He is the love of my life and no one understands me quite like him. He is supportive, strong and has been through more hell than I can ever bear. Therefore he takes time to be patient with me when those famous mood swings start to kick in. Is not easy for a man to be with a woman that is so down on herself but he makes it work, I love him very much for that, he is my rock. Besides my great boyfriend, I am still fat, but the disease left a huge mark, I haven’t been able to look the same or go back to my regular size. I’m back to zero and I need to try to get my body to the ten that it was. I have a bad foot, caused by all the weight I put on it when I was gaining those treacherous pounds. I still need to fix that bone in my foot. I am still with no stable job, the last time I found a great job I was laid off because the company was doing bad, they let go of over 200 people across different markets. Hmm… That’s it, my clock is ticking and I feel as though I am not putting enough effort to make my second chance here on earth worth wild. I am not doing myself any justice and I keep failing, at least that’s how I feel but I am trying, my love is strong. I hope you all can understand how impatient I am to make things happen in my life, to know the answer to everything. I don’t want to worry anymore about my health, my mental instability and my financial instability. What is it that I want? What is it that I need? Where do I see myself in the next 5, 10 years? I don’t know, I keep going down this narrow path and I am lost. All I can say is never stop trying. You get many chances in life and some come more frequently than others. Be kind to another, be loving and be supportive. At the end of a long day, we are all nothing more than humans.

THE DAY AFTER THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER

The day after the first day of summer and here I am still finding little nuances to complain about. I find that blogging can be utilized to express all sorts of life entities. I’ve decided that this blog entry will speak to you about my depression and its state in which it repeatedly finds itself in. Let me begin by saying that yes, you guessed right, I suffer from what I like to call severe depression. I hate making anything about myself. I find my life rather amusing, reason for it is because I have accomplished a lot in short amount of time. You can call it will power or you can name it whatever you want. I call it a miracle because I am still alive. I don’t take myself serious however deep down inside I wish someone can hear me. Let’s begin by me telling you how I felt the morning of June 22^nd 2014.   

Yesterday was my friend’s birthday, but I thought I forgot it. I’ve woken up hating it but I kept reminding myself that she will be alright. Yesterday I spent the day dreading the summer. I don't like any time of the year to be honest but if I could choose I would probably choose fall. The summer reminds me of all the things I forgot to do during hibernation season (okay, this is where you would probably guess signs of depression… let me continue). I was supposed to be in shape that was the goal. The summer just reminds me of what I needed to do to accomplish it and I didn't. Now here I am most likely about to spent money on a bathing suit that probably won't even look decent on me. But yesterday particularly was a very hard day for me. It was the day after the first day of summer and I probably spend it figuring out what to do with myself. Every day, every day I ask myself why? Why I feel this way, why? Why this had to happen to me? Why? Why what you say? Why was I faced with a traumatic disease in my life, no, not depression, that became worse as the disease in habited my life and most importantly my body. I am speaking about Cushing’s disease, google it, I would have to write another blog entry to explain what it is. The point is it changed me and it changed my life completely. I don't even have money to pay for the bills I was left with after my neurosurgery, I don't have a life anymore in which I feel will allow me to focus on my body or image. I don't know how to be anything else but the way I was and I don't have a stable job. You see work is becoming such a big problem in my life now. I find a job and then I lose it. Is not because I lack any technical skill, it mostly involves finding a place where I belong. I am not sure I deserve to live this way. I see my friends living a life with total disregard of the future or consequences. And I am here stressing out over something I can't change. My life is a total mess, I feel lost and confuse. I feel alone, like no one understands me. I am such a stranger in my own life that I can't seem to know where to go or what to do. Everything is depressing me. I am scared of my own life. I am afraid of the things I say and the things I might do. I wish I had a place to go that can help me but everything requires fucking money. Seriously, everything requires money... money I don't have. I feel that my life is going to end soon. I just don't know how. I am not afraid of dying, but I don’t want to die just yet. Believe it or not, I do have people who love me despite of all I been through personally and despite of how I feel, they still love me. But they’re just as broken as I am, maybe less but broken nonetheless. How do I ask for help when they themselves can’t help me? I know they wish they could, I wish I could help them too.

My life is a mess, understanding in a car crash, I want to change, that’s the first step. I wish I can explain more but in a nutshell I'm feeling depress. I have no control over what happened to me, I feel depress because I’m too weak to change the outcome of it. I’m sorry if you can’t take this serious. I am sorry if you are tired of hearing or reading about someone’s depressive state lack of motivation, seriously, but my words are natural and flow freely every year, always starting on the day after the first day of summer. I’m Victorious Monsterpiece, please feel free to comment as you please.

 

Star Music Video

I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT?

I had a professor, in my creative writing class, who told me that, there is no such thing as “writers block”. I don’t know how much of that is true, but I do see what he meant. He kept explaining how we all have something to write about, like writing about the day, about ourselves, write about how we feel because we don’t have anything to write about. I personally like to go outside, take a bus and describe in writing everything I am seeing. Sometimes, when I look at my Facebook, I see so many things, that anyone can immediately find something to write about, but also lots of things which can piss you off. I never had writers block in my life, and I never used it as an excuse not to want to write. The reason I never had writers block was because I am not a writer, well, at least I don’t think of myself as one, writing is an art that does not come easy to me, but I never give up trying, but I can admit, I am lazy at times though. I do find myself getting lost. I get lost in words and I get caught up in my emotions. I wonder how many people out there, had felt something so strong, after watching it on TV, in the internet, on the radio or on social media, to then be pondering about it, all day on your mind. Social media has giving us an opportunity to write a response as soon as we feel it. That’s writing at its best, when you see a pissed off comment about someone disagreeing with someone else’s opinion on the matter, hilarious!

What is this all about anyways, why is writing so important? It is though, through writing we have learn so much about different eras, civilizations and great people, who used to walk this earth because of the power that writing has left behind. Manuscripts and scrolls, journals and diaries, masterfully written work about things we never saw and people who we never met. If writing is such an important part of our lives and our legacy, why is it so disregarded?

Cursive writing has been taught in schools for many years, my grandmother learned it, my mother learned it and many schools still teaches to its young student’s the art of Cursive writing.  My generation was probably the last generation to learn Cursive writing. It’s said that the majority of schools in the US are not teaching students this format of writing, they teaching them typing. Why is cursive writing important? It is imperative to our cognitive response. I’m not making these things up, look it up.

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/04/30/should-schools-require-children-to-learn-cursive/the-benefits-of-cursive-go-beyond-writing

In a vast technological society/world, we are more likely to leave no trace behind of who we were, and no trace of what we went through or our legacies, because soon the idea of writing or real penmanship will disappear. No more will someone pick up a note book and write on a sheet of paper.

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/04/30/should-schools-require-children-to-learn-cursive/cursive-handwriting-is-a-cultural-tradition-worth-preserving

We are constantly being smothered with tons of information, and therefore we are not really focusing on our response to things. We are not thinking because, a simple thing as writing, listening and reading, requires focus. Media does not focus because its images repeats at 24/30 frames per seconds, for hours, that is as much as we can handle without completely overloading our brain and shutting down. It is hard to focus when there is so much around us we forget about the human anatomy, the person, and our selves. Writing is thinking, reasoning and most importantly it is discipline. If our cognitive response slows down, we are more likely incapable of writing or having anything to write about at all.

Many are debating that Cursive writing should not be used in schools and should die out, but I want to quote someone that made a strong point:

“We are not all going to be artists, but most people agree that art is a legitimate subject for grade schoolers. Cursive is another way for a person to express himself… You have to teach cursive for at least one year. A good hand can come naturally to some people and can be a source of pride for them. Refusing to give them the chance is just not right.”

I’m on the side that believes Cursive writing should continue to be taught in schools, we are losing our art and music classes in most schools, it will be a misfortune to remove completely the discipline and the skill that can benefit a child in the future. Why not teach our children to be free? Let’s teach the new generation to express themselves, to think for themselves. Why not teach our children the benefit of a good penmanship and the art of thinking without constraints. Please continue to write, because it’s a beautiful and substantial skill to have. Not just in typing but in handwriting, we can all learn to master a coherent sentence and believe that there is always something to write about, in which will always be worth preserving for generations to come.

A MONSTERPIECE THANKSGIVING

The Holidays are approaching and I am happy to say that I am looking forward to 2014, but only because I have a master plan or should I say, MONSTER plan.

Monsterpiece is here and I want to talk a little about the celebration of Thanksgiving. When I was a kid, I was told that the Pilgrims came on the Mayflower and created this entire feast and celebration, they sat together with the Native Americans, sitting side by side, and giving thanks for the hospitality that the Native Americans offer to these strangers who came to this strange land, that we call today America. Pilgrims and Native Americans thanked God for new friends and opportunity. Let’s be VERY honest, what is Thanksgiving?  Well, later on in my life, I was then taught by the history books, that it is a celebration of the intention to slaughter an entire race and of a nearly abolished culture. I am thankful to know that I can voice this opinion. My question too many is, can you agree with the reality?

I am not against Thanksgiving, but throughout the years, Thanksgiving has become a sort of propaganda in consumerism, and with that being said, it stimulates other thoughts in our mind. We think about family and we think about what we are thankful for, we think about how we can come together as a family and we prepare ourselves for Christmas and the New Year. It is the coming together and the joy of seeing family we have not spoken to or family we have dislike, and far, far, far in our minds we even thought of slaughtering at some point too. Still, it’s the arrival of aunts, uncles and cousins, brothers, sisters, and grandparents that we have not seen since the whole year or in months. Thanksgiving is the food, the laughs and the appreciation of all those things we have that we don’t take for granted very much, family.

 

In my family, we celebrate Thanksgiving by dancing, partying, we celebrate it with lots of food and noise. I am Dominican and Thanksgiving is something that’s not part of my culture, but it is part of where I have been raised and where I was brought up in. Although Thanksgiving is something extremely different from what the history books lay it out to be, it is still something we cherish as Americans and citizens of this country. When we put a side all the past and the history of the holiday, there is something special about this day. But the truth is the truth of this holiday, and how it came about, how we have revolutionized it and how it has evolved throughout the years to mean something so much more, leading up to the end of the year and to another chapter in our lives. Let’s agree that ALL things have a past, a history. The truth is that although we know what Thanksgiving is all about, we still celebrate it because we love our families and we love coming together to celebrate and catch up and laugh, eat and sometimes dance, and that after the holiday is over, we will go back to wanting to kill each other. You see, just like the Pilgrims and the Native Americans, let’s pretend as though we are this one big happy family, for once, until the end of the year.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING everybody!!!

MY FAVORITE THANKSGIVING COMMERCIAL BY AT&T! ENJOY!

"WHAT'S MY AGE AGAIN?"

Hello everyone! Monsterpiece back again, this time I am talking about age, old vs. youth. I am turning 26 in December and the older I get the more I come to realize that, I want to be older because my 20s are tough and I am not feeling like I should feel. There is so much I have experience and seen, and things just aren't the same, plus, I know in my 40s I will be GREAT! 

I snatch these quotes from Goodreads.com and hopefully you can agree with most of them. I couldn't juts settle on one, these were all by far my favorites. If you are like me, who believe older is better, you will probably love all of these too. ENJOY!

“The good thing about being old is not being young.”
― Stephen Richards

“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.”
― Salvador Dalí

 

“I don't believe in aging. I believe in forever altering one's aspect to the sun. ”
― Virginia Woolf

“You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.”
― Garrison Keillor, Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon

“At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.”
― George Orwell

 “It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.”
― Andy Rooney

 

“Age isn't how old you are but how old you feel.”
― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez, Memories of My Melancholy Whores

 

“By the time you're thirty, your worst enemy is yourself.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

 

“Sometimes I get depressed about my age. In March I’ll be 26. If man weren’t measured in numbers, but rather letters, I’d be turning Z. And then I’d be dead.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

 

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.”
― Bette Davis

 

“I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.”
― Craig Ferguson

 

“It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The
reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.”
― George Sand

 

“The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.”
― Lyman Bryson

 

“I believe that maturity is not an outgrowing, but a growing up: that an adult is not a dead child, but a child who survived. I believe that all the best faculties of a mature human being exist in the child. . . . that one of the most deeply human, and humane, of these faculties is the power of imagination.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin, The Language of the Night: Essays on Fantasy and Science Fiction

 

“You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.”
― Michael Pritchard

 

“Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.”
― Craig Ferguson

 

 

 

WE'RE NOT LOOKING, WE'RE SEARCHING

Hello everyone! I'm Victorious Monsterpiece, I'm 26 years old, I was born in the Dominican Republic. I was raised in Harlem, New York City before I moved to the Bronx (but I'm back in Harlem, YAY!!). I have a bachelors in Fine Arts, majored in Film. I'm a bit of an opinionated soul and I would like people to refer me as Monsterpiece, I will speak more about the name soon in another blog, lets just say the name has deeper meaning than what you think. First, I would like to talk a little about what I am doing here, why I am blogging and what made me start a blog. Well, evidently, I like to express myself a lot, thus hence the opinionated person I am, and I feel as though a blog can help me share those opinions and hopefully inspired others to express themselves adequately, away from unpolished social media. Let's see now, when Facebook and other means of social media bombed our generation and generations to come, we all became some sort of "bloggers" and writers (some better than others) but we all started to write our thoughts, ideas and feelings, constantly talking about our day, our personal lives, our likes and dislikes in a very mediocre way. We have become less detailed to things, less attach to reality and more prune to be less physically social. Although is nice to know how some of my friends are doing, how my family and colleagues are getting by day to day, I have come to realize that it is not the same to know how some one is doing based solely on Facebook. I believe strongly that Facebook has revolutionized how we connect intimately with one another. To care how someone is doing is based more on actions than in words, that you actually took the time to go and see them, talk to them and feel each others presence, maybe share a hug or smile, but instead we go by what words on a screen say. Sometimes, not all is what it seems. We are not looking, we are searching, trying to find something bad or something good in our daily lives. But we are not looking at the bigger picture, we are losing legitimate connection with one another, which is ironic, considering the fact that social media, phones and gadgets "connects us". We are slowing our minds and allowing the machines to take over... umm, let's discuss that in another blog.

The story goes on, I am here because of so much I have to say, so much I want to share. I am not going to tell you how to think and what to believe in. I just want you to feel inspired or to feel like there is someone (or something.. wink wink) out there who shares your same ideas and values. I am here blogging because, I took it upon my infinite wisdom to do something beyond the FACEBOOK hole, in which I feel I have deeply sank myself in, and not in a productive way, where I feel I am using it for it's great abilities and potential. I am not happy knowing that I am sharing ideas that aren't really going anywhere, although my friends and family's opinions matter to me. I want to impact people's lives in a whole other platform. What I am doing here, is simply blogging, and I would do my best to bring as many topics as possible. LET'S REALLY CONNECT! I am not here for the social aspect of it. I am here because I rather spend my time wisely. I want the world and I would do everything it takes to achieve it (figuratively speaking). I want to help others and I want others to know I can feel the same way they do. I am not asking for fame, I just want to know how you think, what ideas you have and how we can make the world a better place, basically I WANT YOUR COMPLAINTS! We're not looking, we are searching. We are searching for something, whatever it is, we are not going to find it through zeros and ones. We are not looking at what we need to look at. The truth is always in front of us, but never with US. I am going to be honest, notice how I never mentioned I am writer, although some of us make it a career, in all senses, we are all writers (sometimes... some are better than others). I am not here to be a selling author, but I do want to reach out to you. Let me connect with you, tell me what really 'grinds your gear'. Let's stop searching for something we can't see, because is right... under our noses, hahaha. :-)